I've chosen DARKNESS

x FANGGER

Does this darkness have a name?

This cruelty, this hatred, how did it find us?

Did it steal into our lives or did we seek it out and embrace it?

What happened to us that we now send our children into the world

Like we send young men to war, hoping for their safe return

But knowing that some would be lost along the way.

When did we lose our way?

Consumed by the shadows. Swallowed whole by the darkness.

Does this darkness have a name?

Is it your name?

There comes a time when every life goes off course.

In this desperate moment who will you be?

Will you let down your defenses and find solace in someone unexpected?

Will you reach out?

Will you face your greatest fears bravely or move forward with faith?

Or will you succumb to the darkness in your soul?

Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life

You expect it to always be there

For you can't remember a time in your life when it wasn't.

But then one day you feel something else

Something that feels wrong, only because it's so unfamiliar.

And in that moment you realize…

You're HAPPY.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

yoohoo xD everything did not go according to plan today lol (:

supposed to go training today but after we got our lanes and guns out and everything sufen's mom came to chat with us. so we were just chatting at first thinking that it's only gonna be a short conversation. so she told us much stuff about the china training trip and all the politics that's going on amongst the coaches. then we started drifting to our school stuff (she has alot of inside info man it's so cool haha) but i shant discuss any of these stuff cos politics should not be discussed on blogs lol. PEACE. (: yeah then she talked to us about studying overseas. i wanna take medicine and she was like telling me to take the basic 5 years in singapore first cos it's the same syllabus as overseas so why bother wasting so much money studying the same thing there. then she said after the basic 5 years, i HAVTA go overseas to study specialisation for another 5 years. like OMG 10 years! by the time i finish studying i will be 28!!! craziness hahaha (:

ohhh kengwee arrived halfway through our conversation and he said there and read his book while waiting for us to finish our convo which took quite a long time lol. he's so BENG can! dyed his hair and pierced earhole. like DOT DOT man xD then he said anyway he's going army so can dye lah.. it's gonna be shaven off soon anyway. and he gave me the 'honour' to cut/shave his hair before he goes army! like how fun will it be?! you better keep your promise ah, weewee! (:

then by the time we finished our convo it's 1115 liddat and our lane ends at 1130 lol. so WE DIDNT TRAIN AT ALL! hahaha (: but weewee used my gun and shot 10 shots so i can at least say the lane wasnt wasted xD oh talking about the using of guns, our sec 1 juniors used our guns!!! alice and i were so pissed cos they adjusted alice's grip (luckily they cant do it to mine cos mine is unadjustable already hohohoho) and most probably adjusted our sighting too. JUST IF ANY OF YOU ARE READING THIS: DO NOT ADJUST!!! LIKE WTF WE ALREADY GOT EVERYTHING ADJUSTED NICELY TO FIT US SO YOU BETTER NOT SCREW IT UP! if you wanna use CAN, if you wanna adjust CAN, but MAKE SURE you adjust it back till it's THE EXACT SAME as BEFORE. THANK YOU (: lol so alice said we should put a note in our guncase to tell them not to adjust shld they use it xD and weewee being the cheem one wrote it for us. he wrote for alice's: hear ye minions, adjust the pistol at your own peril. love, alice. like LOL (: then for mine it's so damn uncheeem can. he just wrote: please do not adjust the pistol kthxbai hahahah the last word tickles me the most. btw if you dun gerrit it's kay thanks bye hahaha (: it's sounds so BOCHAP can! which i totally AM NOT when it comes to my BABEH PISTOL xD

anyway after that we went northpoint for lunch xD mingzhe came and we lunched at ljs while waiting for everett to come so that we can watch movie. he doesnt wanna watch charlotte's web so we had to watch night at the museum. sorry xian and spsls i cant watch with you all tmr!! so sad x| yeah anyway during lunch mingzhe and i were just chatting about taiwan trip ppl lol (: and the stupid SUANMEI! grrr x| ohhh and so sorry to taiwan ppl for not going for the gathering! and the biggest sorry to mel for not turning up for your musical when i promised to. SORRY BABEH!

stupid weewee see how important you are? i pangseied two groups of ppl for you k! just because you are going army lor. so you better remember our icecream treat (: and i am not saying all this just for the icecream! i really will miss you when you go army! (: must get into safsa and come train with us next time k? xD

anyway yeah ky left early cos she's going home to accompany her grandma. so filial sia! yeah so only end up me alice weewee and everett watching the movie cos mingzhe wanna go train cos otherwise he will die for sat's monthly shoot. hahah we are so smart to not sign up lol (: yeah the first half of the movie i was like falling asleep lah hahah not because the movie was boring but because i was real tired and the seats are so comfy what lol. plus everett and alice are just discussing so she nvr really talked to me and weewee is just watching quietly so no one to keep me awake lol. then the second half i felt awake and started watching hahaha. abit lost lah but i got filled in on what i missed xD

then after the movie weewee wanted to take photos before his beeeautiful hair is gone lol. after that alice and everett went to eat and weewee and i went to take mrt.

his train was leaving but he didnt want to get on to pei me. wah so nice sia, weewee! hahaha i changed my perception of you for the better leh (: then we were just talking about how army was gonna be like lor xD sighh still cant imagine weewee with hair (: but ohwells we can still see each other once more before he goes army when he treats bradahood to icecream (: i am awaiting that!

reached home and finally emailed reika (my jap roommate during taiwan trip) awww i miss her so much! talking about missing ppl, mingzhe said that i like dun really miss them liddat. cos i like nvr go for gatherings and i am not EMO when i talk about them. like shrugs dunneed to be emo one mah (: i am still happy when i talk about them cos i remember all the happy memories xD i really miss them alot one lor. today pangseied them is cos really got valid reason what x| and i will try to make it for the next gathering one! xD

tomorrow's reporting day! must wake up so early. oooh and havta wear formal u after such a long time lol (: yucks my new hairstyle totally sucks and dun go with the uniform can x| sighh but whatever.

shall go print out documents for tmr's reporting day and sleep! heehee needa face all those parents and new juniors tmr lol and must remain professional and smiley throughout so i need sufficient sleep lol (: wonder what rg's cutoff point will be this year...

tmr's dong zhi! eat tang yuan aka glutinous rice ball lol (: going to aunt's house tmr night. shrugs i always go there and like stone around lol xD no one close enough to talk to, somemore the one i am closest to went to china to study liao loh x| only back around chinese new year x| shant think abourrit lah (:

tmr i will get oth3 from marissa! whee entertainment (: thanks babe xD

yeah lah that's all shall get ready for tmr lol NIGHTS EVERYBUDDY <3

11:10 PM

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